While I usually delete these unsolicited "we have great services" emails, this one I kept around to use as a great example of what not to do when trying to get a busy professional to respond to you.
See if you can spot the problems. (Click the image to see it larger.)
Here is what jumped out at me:
- Bad Grammar & Spelling: Always, always have someone else look over your emails before you send them out, especially if you are fuzzy on your grammatical rules. Not only do several of the calls to action not even make sense ("Are you currently doing any media planning or any of your products/services?"), but there is no better way to look completely unprofessional and as though you don't really care as to send out an email that is rife with easily-fixable grammar and spelling issues. If I were the Academy of Art, I would be very upset that my marketing partner spelled my name incorrectly!
- Not Doing Your Homework: I do online marketing for a company that sells sporting equipment. Our main audience is male, between 30-65. Look at the Audience section: mostly women, stay-at-home moms? Why would I pay you to reach exactly the opposite of my target audience?
- Who Are You Again?: This email really does an awful job of explaining to me why you are emailing, beyond trying to sell me something. While the sender mentions he has "taken over the territory" (which sounds like a gang turf war or a military coup), he doesn't tell me how I was introduced to his company or where he found me. I have no known associations with your company; why should I take time out of my busy day to read your email?
Have any other ideas how this email could have been done better?
No comments:
Post a Comment